The Hand in Hand Group

Yesterday was my second meeting with the Hand in Hand group which is a support group for single mothers, pregnant ladies and those who want to have a baby. The idea of the group is to provide support to vulnerable women who might otherwise struggle to look after themselves or their babies. It was the ladies from this group that came to the house to cook us a typical township meal a couple of weeks ago.

Last time the meeting took place in the home of one of the ladies, Agnes, who is 19, has a 9 month old baby and lives with her boyfriend. Yesterday morning we called at her house in the morning as we were in the area anyway for a different project but she wasn’t there. Later, at the Hand in Hand group, Agnes didn’t turn up and we found out why from one of the other women. Apparently her boyfriend had kicked her out of the house the day after she came to the volunteer house to cook for us because when she returned home that night she said she was too tired to cook him dinner. So now she has gone back to live with her grandfather which isn’t much better because the rest of her family are resentful of her and angry that she doesn’t work and that the money now has to stretch that bit further.

Agnes’ story isn’t uncommon. When she became pregnant, her school excluded her so she didn’t graduate. Because she didn’t graduate, she will struggle to find a job of any kind, even an unskilled one, as most employers want to see a graduation certificate. Because she couldn’t work, she relied on her boyfriend’s income to support herself and her child – the ladies at the Hand in Hand group told me that he has kicked her out 4 or 5 times before and she always ends up going back to him because she needs the money and a place to live. If she leaves him, she can register for child support but that would only give her 280 ZAR per month – about £30. Out of that money she would need to rent a room somewhere which might cost 150 ZAR per month, so that doesn’t leave much for food and clothing. Food is cheaper over here, but not that cheap! And if she wants to go back to school Agnes would need to find someone to look after her son while she’s there and find the money to pay her own school fees. Unless she finds a job, Agnes will not be able to afford to pay the fees to send her son to school when he is older.

The problems she faces, the lack of money, lack of support from her family, lack of any way for her to generate an income for herself, all drive her back to her ‘boyfriend’ even though their relationship is unhappy and unstable because it’s the only way she can provide for her son. It saddens me to know that men here are able to treat women with such disrespect and that women sometimes just accept that as a way of life because it’s all they’ve ever known or because they feel they have no other options. I’m hoping that the Hand in Hand group will be able to somehow give Agnes the support she needs to go back to school and complete her studies so that she at least has a chance of finding a job and making a new life for herself and her son. I want to help her but I really don’t know how.